" In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. "

Groucho Marx US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 – 1977)

" I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. "

Groucho Marx US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 – 1977)

" My mother loved children — she would have given anything if I had been one. "

Groucho Marx US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 – 1977)

" I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. "

Groucho Marx US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 – 1977)

" Love goes out the door when money comes innuendo. "

Groucho Marx, “Duck Soup” 1934 US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 – 1977)

" Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. "

Groucho Marx US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 – 1977)

" No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. "

Groucho Marx US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 – 1977)

" I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. "

Groucho Marx US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 – 1977)

" Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. "

Groucho Marx US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 – 1977)

" Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. "

Groucho Marx US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 – 1977)

" Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. "

Groucho Marx US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 – 1977)

" The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. "

Groucho Marx US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 – 1977)

" If i cannot smoke in heaven, then i shall not go. "

Groucho Marx US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 – 1977)

" From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. "

Groucho Marx US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 – 1977)

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